The Rear Admiral's Table

Jim Crane may rename Astros

2012-01-24T17:13:00.001-06:00

I'm not sure how, but I will find a way to blame this on Bud Adams!

Blue Duck

2011-09-02T11:35:00.000-05:00

Its blue. Its a duck. It must be art.

Dr. Merkwürdigliebe called...

2011-08-28T01:10:00.002-05:00

He can walk!

I have obtained the Colonel's secret recipe!

2011-06-15T08:34:00.001-05:00

Chicken grease
Salt

On Jose Guerena

2011-05-27T13:27:00.003-05:00

First and foremost let me say that I do not know anyone involved in this mess and am just observing from the sidelines like most everyone else.

here is video from the incident

http://www.kgun9.com/category/172043/video?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=5894488&flvUri=&partnerclipid=

At least they knocked, but I can't hear any shots before the swat starts shooting and there is no explanation why paramedics were not allowed to treat the victim. At one point they talk about not going back in because he may still be a threat; well excuse the hell out of me but is it not your fucking job to confront threats? If he was still a threat they could have shot him 60 more times and if he wasn't a threat they could have sent in the paramedics.

Is it not horribly ironic that while in Iraq the victim would have been thrown in prison for shooting an Iraqi that said "I've got something for you" yet back home he is shot 60 times and denied medical treatment for allegedly uttering the same thing?

I understand what they did and it was probably legally defensible, but i'm saying it was morally wrong to leave him in there. If it meant putting themselves or the other occupants in danger to finish clearing the house they should have done it. imo it is their job to put their lives in danger to serve the public and they clearly have no problem putting civilian lives in danger.

the shooting isn't what bothers me, I understand mistakes happen, to me its what happened after that bothers me. any amount of time spent not doing what is necessary to get help to that guy, and to me waiting 30 minutes for a robot falls in this category, is morally unjustifiable.

Rants

2011-04-18T09:12:00.003-05:00

From the man who brought us the H&K rant comes a less entertaining but even more important rant. This time he is ranting about the economy. I especially like how he points out that Barry's solution to W spending too much money was to spend five times as much.

Confucious Say

2011-02-09T20:10:00.003-06:00

Disabling gnome-panel is a pain in the ass

2010-12-18T17:14:00.005-06:00

If you use Gnome and a dock like Avant Window Navigator or Docky you may wish to get rid of the default gnome panel. As the title of this post suggests it can be a pain in the ass to figure out how to achieve this goal. If you search the web you will find several methods the stop gnome-panel from loading. For me the method that worked was to open gconf-editor and goto desktop-> gnome-> session-> required_components and blank out the panel option. The next step is to make gnome-panel non-executable; issue chmod -x /usr/bin/gnome-panel as root. One thing to keep in mind is that you need to make sure your dock is working because the next time you login the gnome-panel will be gone.

Dr. Lovesweed or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the ORB.

2010-08-28T20:36:00.003-05:00

The greatest threat to our world is with out a doubt hippies. Hippies hate violence, but love smashing windows and turning over police cars at G20 summits. Hippies love Darwinism, but refuse to eat meat, the very thing that helped human beings evolve to the point to be able to conceive of the theory of evolution. Hippies love weed, but hate cigarettes. Though they seem harmless hippies pose the greatest threat to our world due to their convoluted and contradictory views on society and the world.

Everyone knows that hippies love peace and hate violent things like football and global wars against things. It is strangely ironic then, that a few foreign leaders can not have a meeting without every Starbucks in a 20 mile radius being burned to the ground by mobs of enraged hippies. Until the hippie threat is brought down we will be forced to see pictures of a weirdo wearing nothing but a jester hat and birkenstocks after every G20 summit.

There is nothing wrong with eating only vegetables; in fact there is nothing morally wrong with eating anything. Unless your a huge Jonathan Swift fan and you have no concept of satire, then you might be a little wayward with you dinner choices. On the other hand many hippies somehow find it possible to find it morally repugnant to eat meat. This vegetarianism flies in the face of the hippies favorite scientific theory: evolution. Hippies will fight to the death to protect evolution, while at the same denying themselves the singed meat which caused the early humans’ brains to explode in size. That makes about as much sense as Darth Vader standing in the ocean pouring seawater from filter into a glass.

The last contradiction of hippies is far and away the most annoying. Many people have had this experience: You are at a party and want to tame some fire. So you step out on to the porch and a light up a smoke; only to hear some filthy hippie say “Hey man, are you, like, trying to give me cancer or something?” After you say “Yes, I am.” The hippie goes back inside with disgusted look on his face; and a few minutes later you go back inside only to find Bob Marley Jr. sparking up a huge spliff. How can a hippie love marijuana smoke and hate tobacco smoke? Its a global conspiracy that is how.

The hippie menace has been running amuck for nearly 50 years and it is time to put a stop to it. The world has a tenuous grasp on sanity as it stands and we can sorely afford to have any more potheads in jester hats tipping the balance. For these reasons I believe that hippies are the worlds greatest threat, and because I am a man of hope.

Meego Haiku

2010-08-02T23:07:00.000-05:00

MeeGo works on a netbook.
MeeGo works in car.
MeeGo works on a smart phone.

Tattoo it on your forehead

2010-04-24T15:36:00.001-05:00

The League: Byzantium

2010-03-20T14:29:00.004-05:00

What is wrong with these NFL owners? When I read the proposed overtime rules change I was sure I had seen something like this before. The game can only be won in overtime under certain conditions. Where have you heard of a system that works, but is overly complicated and useless. That's right it was the Ptolemaic system of astronomy. This is how I read the new overtime rules when I saw them on Sportscenter; "In order to win the Olympian war god will be in retrograde, while the in field fly rule compels an as yet to be determined linebacker to snot bubble the quarterback, but only if the line of scrimmage is being defended outside of the purple zone."

Here is a crazy idea. In the regular season there is no overtime, as has often been said by players if you can't beat the other team in sixty minutes you don't deserve to win. In the playoffs you keep playing fifteen minute periods until one team wins or forfeits.

Yep

2010-01-10T22:18:00.001-06:00

http://rapidfire.sci.gsfc.nasa.gov/gallery/?2010007-0107/GreatBritain.A2010007.1150.1km.jpg

Moblin 2.1 Haiku

2009-12-17T19:32:00.000-06:00

Moblin 2.1 boots with haste
Moblin 2.1 is stable as rock
Moblin 2.1 up to date

Pizzas Pizzas

2009-12-05T22:00:00.002-06:00

I love pizza. How can anyone not love pizza; it's one of the few foods that can contain the entire food triangle in one serving. Even the winiest hipster who hates everything not from the mystical ancient Asian continent, did you know that like Sun Tzu wrote The Art of War like a thousand years before Jesus never lived, likes pizza. Cats love pizza; dogs love pizza, on this there is no dispute. Pizza resides in it's own aisle in most grocery stores, that aren't the ghetto HEB. This brings me to my point. What the hell does Manfred von Richthofen know about making pizzas? I know the Italians and Germans palled around a couple of times, but are we so hard up for pizza makers that we must rely on Prussian nobility to adequately supply us with pizza. What's next Genghis Kahn's authentic Texas Chili?

Fantasy Football

2009-11-16T19:08:00.002-06:00

After some two weeks of mediocrity my long slow ascent to the summit of mount Yahoo Public 103680 renews.

Solution to BSOD 0x000000E3

2009-10-30T11:32:00.002-05:00

In researching this particular error I came across the exact answer I was looking for at state of the tech.

method for uninstalling any Microsoft update that is applicable here. Here is the quick rundown:

1. Boot from your Windows XP CD or DVD and start the recovery console (see this Microsoft article for help with this step)
2. Type this command: CHDIR $NtUninstallKB971486$\spuninst
3. Type this command: BATCH spuninst.txt
4. Type this command: exit

The computer should restart and hopefully your problem will be fixed.

GPointingDeviceSettings on Moblin

2009-10-10T15:18:00.006-05:00

If your like me, you don't like touchpad scrolling; thankfully there is the program, formerly known as gsynaptics, gpointing-device-settings. Unfortunately Moblin doesn't have a package for this program yet, fortunately all the dependencies (gtk2-devel, libXi-devel, GConf-dbus-devel) are available from the Moblin repositories. The steps are as follows:

$sudo yum groupinstall “Development Tools”
$sudo yum install gtk2-devel libXi-devel GConf-dbus-devel
$tar -xvf gpointing-device-settings-1.3.2.tar.gz
$cd gpointing-device-settings-1.3.2
$./configure
$make
$sudo make install

After this process you can run the program with the command gpointing-device-settings.

Nokia E71x Maps Howto

2009-08-20T00:20:00.002-05:00

this does not require your phone to be unlocked

1. goto nokia.mobi/maps in your phone's browser, download and install the software for 5700 xpress music. start the maps program. (version 1.0)

2. go back to nokia.mobi/maps in your phone's browser, download and install the software for e71. start the maps program. (version 2.0)

3. use the maps updater program from nokia's site to go to version 3.0

4. ...

5. profit.

Moblin Haiku

2009-07-05T18:02:00.002-05:00

Moblin boots with haste
Moblin is buggy as hell
Moblin crashes oft

Fack Yes.

2009-05-10T19:17:00.003-05:00

Inside the mac os x kernel

2009-03-13T14:45:00.003-05:00

Have you ever said that os x has a bsd based kernel or a microkernel? Well you're wrong; you should watch this video.

Watchmen Review

2009-03-10T20:04:00.003-05:00

~3 hours
~20 minutes of big blue penis
2 fantastic breasts from Harold and Kumar

Overall it's good movie, which will provide future pursuers of higher education many hours of drinking fun.

We're So Screwed.

2009-02-26T17:45:00.003-06:00

DTV Flow Chart

2009-01-25T11:16:00.002-06:00

The consumerist has made an image that perfectly explains what people should do for the DTV transition.

http://consumerist.com/5116811/a-very-simple-flowchart-explaining-the-digital-tv-transition

Vista fixes 08

2009-01-01T20:37:00.003-06:00

I finally upgraded to vista a few weeks back and here are some helpful things I found.

By default vista didn't want to accept that my monitor could do 1280x1024@60Hz and some googling led to this post on the hardforums, unfortunately the fix is specific to nvidia.

I also had to move my router downstairs (cheapest way to get brother's xbox online) and use a wireless adapter on my main computer. needless to say this led to some serious lag spikes in videogames. The problem has been around since xp and the solution was to disable the wireless zeroconf service; the vista service is called wlan autoconfig which works. I also noticed people mentioning a program called vista anti lag written by some german guy whose site is down, I did find it on some german freeware site I never heard of though and it seems to work well. To get the program to work you have to disable your wireless card, then start the program, and then enable the wireless card.

On a completely different note I was watching Necessary Roughness on the tv and I noticed something funny. In the movie the football team of the, at the time fictional, Texas state plays their first game against Southwest; which through the hilarious vagaries of time is now known as Texas State.

Why UH was not invited to the BigXII

2008-11-24T13:22:00.004-06:00

Every time John McClain mentions Baylor on his blog there are scores of UH fans who ignorantly claim that UH should have been in the Big12 instead of Baylor. Allow me to quickly explain why UH was not invited to the Big12.

football	Baylor	Houston
1990	6-4-1	10-1
1991	8-4	4-7
1992	7-5	4-7
1993	5-6	1-9-1
1994	7-5	1-10
1995	7-4	2-9
total	40-28-1	22-43-1

Pickens ad

2008-08-28T10:28:00.001-05:00

Algorithm For A Modern Artist

2008-08-22T10:11:00.005-05:00

I realize that on a certain level the point of art is to elicit emotions. There is a line, however, and this jerk crossed it. I am no great student of art or art history, but from casual observation most art seems to follow certain patterns. Art seems to be almost structured, and I believe I have derived the algorithm which will produce what is today considered art.

#include <iostream>
#include <fstream>
using namespace std;

int main () {
char c, str[256];
ifstream is;

cout << "Enter the name of an existing controversial topic: ";
cin.get (str,256);

is.open (str);  // open controversy

while (is.good()) // loop while profit from controversy is possible
{
c = is.get();  // get money from controversy
cout << c;
}

is.close();  // controversy dropped
return 0;        
}

I Suck at Fantasy Baseball

2008-05-03T19:37:00.001-05:00

That is all.

California To Citizens: All Your Thermostats Are Belong To Us!

2008-01-13T13:03:00.000-06:00

A while back I made this new flag for California as a joke, but the people of the golden state are bound and determined to make me into a prophet. First they passed some ass backwards electricity deregulation that forbade the company that sold the electricity to generate the electricity, which led to the oh so famous rolling blackouts. Now these jokers are trying to take control of people's thermostats; tacitly castrating the male population of California. Ever since the invention of air conditioning it has been the man's job to control the thermostat in his home with an iron fist and a steel will against mother and children who would heedlessly alter the perfection of the home environment.

If you live in California and want the testicles of your state to remain in their respective scrotum's tell Ivan nyet!

Naked Short Stocks

2007-12-07T10:45:00.000-06:00

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

If the Factory Didn't Put Speedholes on Your Car, It Doesn't Need Them.

2007-11-12T22:24:00.000-06:00

I don't know if this happens elsewhere, but in Waco every jackass with $20 sticks those stupid Buick portholes on their cars. its just as annoying as putting fake chrome on your car with the added benefit of telling everyone that you can't even afford a Buick.

The Cake Is A Lie

2007-10-28T03:13:00.001-05:00

Someone Has Been in My Cupboard

2007-10-22T22:41:00.000-05:00

Every day there is less and less peanut butter in the peanut butter jar and I blame Hillary Clinton. It is a vast left wing conspiracy and if she becomes president she will probably move my cheese too. Vote republican; not because you like republicans, but because you dislike democrats and their socialist european overlords.

Where Have all the Benchmarks Gone?

2007-10-02T01:41:00.000-05:00

do dodo dodo do... Seven years ago you couldn't go five minutes on the internet without reading a benchmark shootout of the latest video cards, the latest motherboards, the best cases, the best power supplies, or the best heat sinks. Today benchmarks for video cards and motherboards are few and far between and benchmarks of other computer components are all but non existent. A quick survey of sites I have frequented since the late nineties has confirmed this situation, with the exception of anandtech most of my old and trusted hardware sites seem stagnant in the hardware review/benchmark department. How am I to get my geek on if I can't find info on how the latest 120mm fan affects my quake3 performance.

One Eye.

2007-08-30T23:57:00.001-05:00

That Thing.

2007-08-29T10:44:00.001-05:00

PETA Endorses Domestic Violence

2007-08-20T19:06:00.000-05:00

Domestic Violence
n. Violence toward or physical abuse of one's spouse or domestic partner.
American Heritage Dictionary

What you see is a screen capture from a game created by PETA in order turn people off of KFC. Now there are some conclusions that I have drawn from this image.

PETA wishes to continue the negative racial stereotype that white people don't like fried chicken.
PETA endorses domestic violence against one's significant other or in this case one's rescuer.
PETA doesn't consider humans animals and therefore doesn't believe the widely accepted theory of evolution.

Feel free to draw your own conclusions, but as a white man who loves fried chicken I find number one terribly insensitive and offensive.

ATTN: Writers of all forms of fiction

2007-08-15T10:47:00.000-05:00

I was recently reading Black Light, the very enjoyable sequel to Shooter, but I noticed in this book a plot hole that I have often noticed through the years. The scenario usually goes something like this: the bad guy flew his/her privately own aircraft for some reason, and the hero needs to know about the flight or plane. Inevitably the hero's sidekick says "He had to file a flight plan, lets check that." The only problem is that in most situations; no the bad guy didn't have to file a flight plan. It may have been have been almost 10 years since I obtained my private pilots license, but I was certain that I remembered that VFR (Visual Flight Rules) flights didn't require flight plans, while IFR (Instrument Flight Rules) did. Well I went to the FAA's website and found an online copy of the Aeronautical Information Manual, a rule book for pilots, and it turns I was still correct. Except for certain situations (chapter 5 section 1-6) VFR does not require the filing of a flight plan, although it is highly recommended to file a flight plan as a safety measure.

So there you go, if you're writing something; and the bad guy is flying his plane and you want the protagonist to find some information on the flight take an extra sentence to explain the situation of the flight that required a flight plan to be filed.

Rules for Competitive Mousing

2007-03-06T22:42:00.000-06:00

Competitive Mousing Rules

Tomorrow's champion on the verge of greatness!

Section A.

Background

Competitive mousing is an exciting way for cats and their owners to bond. Originally open to small dogs as well as cats; competitive mousing has come along way from its humble origins, and is now the penultimate venue for elite mousing teams. Competitive mousing was conceived and developed by the RHG (Rodent Haters Guild); a group of vassals fed up with rodents eating noble table scraps meant to nourish their meager and common existences.

Around 1430 A.D. (thats right Anno Domini I don't cotton to that C.E. crap) peasants began domesticating and training small dogs and house cats to wage war on the rodentia pestilentia as they would have referred to it if they were literate. As with all other forms of war the industrial revolution transformed competitive mousing into a sport for the entertainment of the emerging bourgeoisie class in Europe. In 1763 the first officially recognized mousing tournament was conducted in a back alley in Prague and although crude by today's lofty standards all the basic parts were in place.

With the dawning of the modern era of competitive mousing all dogs were banned from sanctioned events, because it was felt that the training of cats required more talent on the part of the owner/trainer. In the Modern era it also became clear that a uniform set of rules was required to allow for even competition on an international level. To that end the RHG and the USNPARL (United States Non Partisan Anti Rodent League) came together to form what is today's universally (a bronzed copy of the rule book was included on both voyager missions) accepted set of rules.

Section B.

Conformity of competitors

Rule 1. All competitors must belong to the genus Felis.
Rule 2. All competitors must belong to the species Silvestris.
Rule 3. Competitors may not be shaved to achieve an aerodynamic advantage.
Rule 4. Competitors may not use artificial aids to enhance their performance.
Rule 5. Competitors claws may not be sharpened by their owners; the competitors may however sharpen their own claws.
Rule 6. Competitors will be divided into two (2) groups typical and non-typical.: Rule 6a. The typical group will be comprised of "average" cats with five (5) toes and five (5) claws on each of the front paws of the competitor.; Rule 6b. The non-typical group will be comprised of all hairless breeds and any polydactyly competitors.

Section C.

Conformity of competitors with respect to professional and sponsored competition

Subsection C1. Introduction to new section; As the popularity of this sport has grown it has become common place for competitors and their owner/trainer's to be sponsored by individuals or corporations. With that in mind the governing bodies have created this new section of the rules to assert their will on the ever more powerful professional competitors.
Rule 1. Competitors may display one (1) "logo" or other symbol of the sponsor at a time.
Rule 2. Competitors may not alter their fur in any way other than what is necessary to affix the sponsor "logo".: Rule 2a. Competitors in the non-typical group may not alter their skin other than what is necessary to affix the sponsor "logo".
Rule 3. Owners/Trainers may affix as many "logos" to their body as they wish.

Section D.

Acceptable Locations for Competition

Rule 1. The location must posses a system to contain competitors and their prey.
Rule 2. The location must provide officials with appropriate locations for executing their official duties.
Rule 3. The location may or may not provide facilities for the use of spectators at their own discretion.
Rule 4. The competitive "arena" may employ obstacles to add a higher degree of difficulty to the competitors.

Section E.

Structure of Competition

Rule 1. A predetermined number of prey will be placed in the competitive "arena".
Rule 2. All competitors of the same group will be placed in a sack.
Rule 3. The bag shall be shaken vigorously and then the competitors shall be released into the competitive "arena".
Rule 4. Competitors will place all captured prey dead or alive in their respective bins.
Rule 5. At the end of regulation time the competitor's scores will be tallied.

Section F.

Scoring

Rule 1. Dead prey will be counted as one (1) point.
Rule 2. Live prey will be counted as two (2) points.
Rule 3. In the event of a tie one half (.5) point will be subtracted for each partial carcass in the competitor's bin.

Section G.

Addendum to the rules of Competitive Mousing

Addendum to Section B. Rule 6a.

Addendum B1. Cats possessing "dew claws" on the hind legs are deemed to conform to they spirit of Section B. Rule 6a. and therefore may compete in the typical group without having said "dew claws" removed.

Addendum to Section B. Rule 6.

Addendum B2. The governing bodies reserve the right to create as necessary a third group of competition that ignores the rules of Section B. while still adhering to the spirit of the section. This "unlimited" group will be created when the governing bodies and competing populace determine that it is necessary for the group to be created in order to grow the sport or to foster a greater degree of difficulty in order maintain a competitive atmosphere.

Addendum to Section D. Rule 4.

Addendum D1. After an incident at the 1964 World Series of Mousing the governing bodies have determined that the competitive "arena" may not contain obstacles that are lethal to competitors and prey.

i.e. tiger traps, guillotines, deadfalls, etc.

Addendum D2. The exception to Addendum D1. will be bodies of water shallower than three (3) feet.

Section H.

Closing

Any dispute of the rules or suggestions for new rules may be submitted to the governing bodies at the biannual meeting of the governing bodies of competitive mousing. All submissions will be heard by the rules commission and all rulings will be considered the conclusion of a submission.

The reason for the season

2006-12-12T17:05:00.000-06:00

During this winter season the Space Pope would like to remind you

A Short Review of Harsh Times

2006-11-14T23:39:00.000-06:00

Harsh Times is the first movie that I can honestly say that I identified with the black character. This is no small feat considering I am in fact a middle class white guy from Texas. Congratulations to everyone who was involved in this movie for making a two hour lecture that is not boring.

Just Deserts Worse Than Just Desserts

2006-11-02T14:08:00.000-06:00

Synopses: Kid tries to steal account, but gets his own account stolen.
http://futuremark.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23914

br0kenrabbit says:
hi

Greg_ValveOLS says:
good evening

br0kenrabbit says:
What's ip?

br0kenrabbit says:
up?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
my name is greg a member of the valve online Support team

br0kenrabbit says:
On MSN?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
yes :)

br0kenrabbit says:
Why?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
we logged multiple ips from your account and ned to verifi your information

br0kenrabbit says:
My information?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
we believe someone may have stolen your account mmmm you havent shared youre account infomation with anyone have you?

br0kenrabbit says:
No. I don't even have it written down.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
hmmm maybe a keylogger on you r PC then maybe you need a format?

br0kenrabbit says:
Well...

Greg_ValveOLS says:
if you can verify your account information to me i can insure that only your ip have access to it Its a new security feature were trying because this happens so muchlogin names and passwords aint safe anymroe You know. L:)

br0kenrabbit says:
Well

Greg_ValveOLS says:
dont worry this connect it secure

br0kenrabbit says:
Can I be honest with you, Greg?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

br0kenrabbit says:
Look, I don't know how you go this MSN account name, don't really care, either.

br0kenrabbit says:
Unlike you, I DO work for Valve. Trace my ip and you'll see.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
huh?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
bs

br0kenrabbit says:
Trace it.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
how

br0kenrabbit says:
Start/run/cmd type Tracert and then my IP address and hit enter.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
oh k

br0kenrabbit says:
As an employee, I know that Valve employees will NEVER contact users over MSN. I also know a valve employee will NEVER ask a user for his/her username and password.

br0kenrabbit says:
I'm putting a temporary hold on your Steam account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why?

br0kenrabbit says:
Have you read the ToS?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
Tod?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
tos

br0kenrabbit says:
terms of service

Greg_ValveOLS says:
were?

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg, this is a serious infraction against the Tos. You are at risk of losing your account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why

br0kenrabbit says:
I just told you why

Greg_ValveOLS says:
:(

br0kenrabbit says:
I need some information from you if you want me to unlock you account. I'm going to write you up but I will only suspend you account for three days, since this is your first infraction, okay?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

br0kenrabbit says:
First, what is the name the account is registered to. Not the user name, the persons real name who created the account. This is for verification purposes.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxx xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Is this you?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Are you the only user of this account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay, and what is the username

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay.

br0kenrabbit says:
I see you have purchased a few of our games, thank you. :)

Greg_ValveOLS says:
some. dude

Greg_ValveOLS says:
m

br0kenrabbit says:
Do you always log on from the same IP?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
And who is your internet providers, your ISP?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Thank you. One moment, please, let me verify this information.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
am i gonna be bale to play 2nite?

br0kenrabbit says:
What is your city of residence?

br0kenrabbit says:
That depends on if you cooperate. You're doing fine so far.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Illinios?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
yes

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. And what is the password associated with this account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. Do not try to log into steam. If you are connected now you need to log off.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why

br0kenrabbit says:
So I can update your account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
can I play 2 nite

Greg_ValveOLS says:
clan fight

Greg_ValveOLS says:
wont win without me heh

br0kenrabbit says:
Heh. You'll have to wait a few minutes. Are you logged off?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. Give me just a moment.

br0kenrabbit says:
Try to log in now.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

Greg_ValveOLS says:
It says login failed wtf wtf!!@?

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
did u ban me???????????>WHY

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what

br0kenrabbit says:
Valve will never ask for your username and password.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what????

br0kenrabbit says:
I don't work for Valve dude, but you just got pwnt.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
omg dude wtf why?

br0kenrabbit says:
Why were you trying to steal my account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
i wanst

br0kenrabbit says:
Then why were you asking for my information?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
i was just making a joke but not cerious honest dude just give
my acount back pllllleeease i'm only 13 and save d up for like a year to buy it

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
dude pleas

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what

br0kenrabbit says:
Go mow some yards, bitch.

Baseball 2006 Retrospective

2006-10-13T12:14:00.000-05:00

Damn.

I just had a Headache with Pictures.

2006-09-11T20:21:00.000-05:00

The gist of it being that The Matrix is yet one more example of Hollywood bad guys being stupid.

Exhibit A, why do the machine grown people still apparently have sex organs. I seriously doubt Neo would have been getting it on with Trinity if he looked like a ken doll down there. I'll put it terms that even those dumbass machines would understand;

lim
Manhood → 0+ Life = PENIS

The reason why the machines shouldn't want their machine grown fuel to have sexual organs is simple; once Neo figures out what to do it won't be long until there are five or six little neos ready to wreck shit all up and down the machine capital of 01. This argument holds true even without The One; I can't speak for everyone, but I know for myself that if I was chilling in Zion and there were only a few thousand people left I would definitely be doing my patriotic duty and knocking up every chick in sight. I know that Zion is a small town, but there would be at least ten other men like me. Before long us, eleven horny, bastards would have grown our own army. So the machines are stupid for not deleting the sex organs of their batteries, but there is something they didn't do that is even more stupid.

This one is so obvious that I should kill myself and everyone else who didn't notice this the first time they saw The Matrix. Why do the machine grown people have arms and legs? This can only lead to trouble, but apparently after like eight tries those retarded machines still didn't figure it out. Since we never saw Neo fly in the real world we can only assume that he can't fly in the real world. The One wouldn't be able to get much done in a world mostly populated by human inchworms, especially when he himself was also a human inchworm. One might make the erroneous argument that the machines left the arms and legs on the people because it was a more efficient producer of energy. Even if you ignore the fact the machines had no problem producing vast quantities of people; one can't ignore the fact that roughly ninety five percent of a humans body heat is concentrated in their head and their torso. So why risk the possibility of being overthrown by your own fuel source when you can just genetically engineer them without the means to ruin your shit; and growing another five extra physically handicapped humans per one hundred normal ones wouldn't be that big of a problem. Especially with the extra security you would gain from doing things that way.

In conclusion the machines are stupid and The Matrices, while decent movies, are also stupid as are most movies. In fact people should start reading books instead of going to movies their plots are still just as full of holes, but at least you can sell a book to a used book store and recoup some of your losses; I've never met anyone dumb enough to buy a used movie ticket. Maybe I should try to find those machines.

Whats In A Name?

2006-09-02T11:06:00.000-05:00

Big Puma - n.

A Big Puma glides effortlessly, and moves with cat-like nimbleness around the bases. Big Puma would never, ever fall while running the bases. Watching Big Puma accelerate gracefully to full speed has been known to make grown men cry. Occasionally, if you listen intently, you can hear the Big Puma battle cry: Raaayyrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

urban dictionary

Knowledge is Power???2??@QUESTIONMARK?

2006-08-05T21:04:00.001-05:00

Did you know that the original designation for the blackbird spyplane was RS-71, but President Johnson said SR-71 whe he announced it. So they changed the designation to SR-71 to save hime the embarancement. How times have changed.

Please point your derision at this person

2006-07-20T23:59:00.000-05:00

Shelley The Republican

And guess what software Osama Bin Laden uses on his laptop?

If you guessed it was Linux you would be 100% right. Osama uses Linux because he knows designed to counterfeit DVD's, circumventing the Digital millennium Copyright Act, and defraud companies like Disney.

Yep, ripping DVD's and killing all Jews are the terrorist two main goals; in that order. Besides the fact that the ability to break DVD decryption is independent of operating system; Linux was only started by a European, but now development is pretty much worldwide. What's more Linux was designed to be a free version of Unix an American invention; and what's even more a whole lot of the American government uses Linux in their facilities.

This person also has no concept of global economy; not that I am any great economist, but I do understand that most large American companies are so globalized that they have ceased being American in all but sentiment (i.e. GM cars having mostly foreign components). The author's IBM laptop for example was most likely, unless it is pretty old, manufactured in China by those commie bastards at Lenovo.

The Fact that this implies that people who use Linux are somehow sinners is laughable. The amount of drugs necessary to find an interpretation of scripture denouncing the Linux operating system would kill an elephant.

Even though the article made my troll sensor explode, I just couldn't help saying something. The fact that its hosted on a server running Linux is just more evidence pointing to the inevitable confession of trollism.

Fuck you Al Gore

2006-06-14T20:47:00.000-05:00

I only have three things to say about *deep scary voice* global warming.

1. The global climate has and will continue to change regarless of human involvement. We may have sped it up, but "global warming" has been in effect for about 400-500 years; since the end of the little ice age [wikipedia.org].

2. More nuclear reactors and one fast reactor [wikipedia.org] for every normal reactor. No more coal, coal gas, heating oil, wind, water, etc. power plants needed.

3. et cetera.

Baseball 2006 Predictions

2006-04-02T16:14:00.000-05:00

First things first, I should really change the title. These aren't predictions they are fact, this smoldering shrub told me the outcome of the 2006 MLB season and it also empowered yours truly to spread the truth. Second, I spent all offseason analyzing why the Astros didn't even win one game in the World Series and all the data points to the fact that Houston has the most expensive beer in all of baseball. Unfortunately when I presented my findings to the janitor at minute made park he only laughed at me, thus the astros are doomed to get swept in the World Series again this year. Okay, I didn't analyze anything, the smoldering shrub actually told me that also, but I probably could have figured it out on my own what with my amazing ability to get C's in statistics classes. We'll go through the outcomes for the NL teams first, mainly because I just flat out don't like the AL, anyone can throw chin music in the bottom of the fourth knowing the DH is coming up to bat second in the top of the fifth.

Houston Astros
101-62
NL wild card (loses NL central tiebreaker)
Defeats Atlanta in first round
Defeats SanFrancisco for pennant
Loses to AL team due to astronomic price of suds
Oswalt wins 30 games with a 0.095 ERA, but still doesn't get Cy Young

St.Louis Cardinals
102-61
NL Central Champion (wins NL central tiebreaker)
Loses to SanFransisco in first round
Pujols hits between 15 and 134 HR, has a .314 BA, and 92 RBI.
Pujols wins NL triple crown

P.S. The definition of triple crown as pertains to baseball will be rewritten due to Pujols large number of homeruns. The new triple crown can be won in the original fashion or it can be won by hitting a shit load of homeruns and coming close in the batting average and runs batted in categories. Marketers and ad execs everywhere revel in watering down yet another formerly meaningful sporting achievement to ensure better advertising revenue.

Atlanta Braves
96-66
NL East Champion
Loses to Houston in first round
Chipper Jones retires in disgust and opens a B&B in Savannah

New York Mets
85-77
As it is ordained, the Mets spend lots of money only to wallow in mediocrity

SanFrancisco Giants
77-85
NL West Champion
Defeats St.Louis in first round
Well timed surge in prostitution and gay pride parades is the key to SanFrancisco's win in the first round, but is also their downfall in the second round.

The rest of the of the NL is irrelevant, but I will say this Cubs 52-100. That's right the Cubs will become the first baseball team in America to commit ritual seppuku, a trick they learned in the offseason from the kanji Purple Headed Dragons a minor league affiliate of the Osaka Tigers. So for those of you in Chicago, remember that football is only seven short months away.

WoW Hero Classes

2006-02-22T12:12:00.000-06:00

Someone posted this on a forum I frequent, and all I can say is damn I hope its true.

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 10:48 pm Post subject: Hero Classes

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS THREAD WAS DELETED AS SOON AS IT WAS POSTED LUCKILY I SAVED IT AS SOON AS I SAW IT, TRUE OR UNTRUE WE SHALL SEE, STILL A GOOD READ

Sources inside Blizz have revealed their plans for hero classes. Blizzard does plan to release hero classes with the expansion, but they haven’t explicitly stated it because they want to announce it close to the release date, insuring a huge amount of hype. I haven’t been told much more than the basics, but I’ll try to explain the system as best as I can:

At any given level there is a certain amount of content; at level 60, the amount of content is very disproportionate with the available content for other levels. The reason is obvious: it is the current endgame, and players need something to enjoy. However, with the level cap raised players would be able to blow through and skip a lot of the content that has been developed over the past year, and allowing players to do so would be a poor use of the developers’ time. This is where hero classes come in.

You will be stuck at level 60, just like you are now, even when the expansion comes out. An epic quest (of REALLY epic proportions) for each hero class will be made available to level 60 players. The only way to break the level 60 barrier will be to go on one of these quests to become a hero class. The quest will require the player to do a lot of solo content as well as a variety of group and raid content. Upon completion of the quest, the player will become a level 61 hero class . They can then once again begin their normal level progression. A hero class is not innately more powerful than a normal class (but the level differentiation makes them more powerful of course). Hero classes will be available to everyone and although the hardcore players will naturally get their hero classes first, it is designed so that players of all play styles will be able to become a hero class in a reasonable amount of time. Blizzard’s implementation of hero classes will accomplish a lot of things. It will create a natural barrier at level 60 that will insure that the average player will experience more of the content Blizz has developed, it gives players a way of further differentiating themselves, and it adds a huge amount of new dynamics between different classes.

Each race/class combination will have 2 hero classes available to them (with several overlapping). This presents a monumental balance job (there are about 50 hero classes), which is probably another reason why Blizzard is delaying the information release. Choosing your hero class will be irreversible, much like the tradeskill masteries. Some hero classes are an extension of the “father” class, some have tweaked mechanics, while others are radically different. The easiest example I can think of is a Night Elf priest, for which the 2 hero classes are a Priest(ess) of the Moon (a continuation of the priest’s current form) and Demon Hunter (an agility-based combat hero with a variety of discipline-esque abilities). So without further ado, here is a brief overview of some of the hero classes:

DRUIDS

Night Elf Druid:
Arch Druid: This will be a hybrid class in the same vein as its “father” class, and Storm Crow form may make a reappearance.

Keeper of the Grove: The druid will sacrifice some of his shapeshifting abilities in exchange for improved healing and casting, and will even be able to command treants on occasion.

Tauren Druid:
Arch Druid: see above

Elder: This is essentially a druid that has lost some shapeshifting abilities and gained some beast-like abilities similar to the hunter. The casting and healing abilities are also amped up, but not nearly as much as the Keeper of the Grove. The Elder also has a bit of the Diablo II druid mixed in for good measure.

HUNTERS

Night Elf Hunter:
Ranger: The Ranger is sort of a hunter/rogue mix. The Ranger will use the energy bar, will have a few stealthy abilities (but not of the same caliber as the rogue), and will no longer have a pet.

Beastmaster: The Beastmaster focuses more on the beast aspect than the ranged aspect of the hunter. He gains new beast abilities, such as switching pets in battle, and is a bit meaner in melee combat in exchange for a lot of his ranged hitting power.

Dwarf Hunter:
Mountaineer: The Mountaineer is similar to the ranger (no pet, energy bar), but without the stealth aspects. The Mountaineer is hardier in melee combat than the hunter and and also has more extensive tracking and detection abilities.

Beastmaster: see above

Orc Hunter:
Outrider: The Outrider is very similar to the wolfrider from Warcraft III, focusing on swift maneuvers and incapacitating enemies. He uses the energy bar.

Beastmaster: see above

Tauren Hunter:
Tracker: The Tracker uses the energy bar like the Mountaineer, but still retains the hunter pet, and as a result is not as tough as the Mountaineer.

Beastmaster: see above

Troll Hunter:
Shadowhunter: This is essentially a hunter that drops some of it’s beast and survival abilities for some shadow spells (think Hex). The Shadowhunter still uses mana.

Headhunter: The Headhunter still has the ranged emphasis of the hunter, but it focuses on throwing weapons (a massive revamp for throwing weapons is planned). The Headhunter uses energy, has more combat abilities, and drops the pet.

MAGES

Human Mage:
Archmage: The Archmage is an exact extension of the mage class, with arcane, fire, and frost spells. Apparently one of the abilities being toyed around with is Summon Water Elemental. The planned incarnation of the spell will be a long-cooldown summon that will not function like a normal pet, and will instead function more along the lines of the Mechanical Yeti (no player control).

Necromancer: The only similarity between the Necromancer and the mage is the emphasis on magical damage. The necromancer uses shadow damage and has a major focus on pets, similar to the warlock. However, unlike other pet classes, the majority of the Necromancer’s damage will come from the pet instead of the Necromancer. I do not know if the Necromancer will be able to have multiple pets out at once.

Gnome Mage:
Archmage: see above

Arcanist: The Arcanist is similar to the mage, with a focus on arcane magic. The Arcanist does slightly less damage than the Archmage, but gains added utility and new support spells.

Undead Mage:
Archmage: see above

Necromancer: see above

Troll Mage:
Hydromancer: The Hydromancer is similar to the Arcanist, but with a focus on the frost tree. The Hydromancer may also receive the Summon Water Elemental spell. In addition to added utility and support spells, the Hydromancer will also get some limited healing abilities.

Shadowcaster: The Shadowcaster is essentially a mage that uses shadow magic instead of fire and frost.

PALADINS

Human Paladin:
Templar: The Templar is the holy warrior that so many paladins wanted their class to be. The Templar has limited healing, but receives a slew of new combat abilities, making the Templar much better at tanking and melee damage than the paladin.

Cleric: The Cleric is the other side of the paladin spectrum. Instead gaining new combat abilities, the Cleric gains improved healing, more utility and support, and some holy damage spells.

Dwarf Paladin:
Templar: see above

Cleric: see above

PRIESTS

Human Priest:
High Priest: The High Priest is essentially a priest that drops the shadow tree, but gains new damage spells from holy and discipline. The High Priest will be the most powerful healer in the game.

Spellbreaker: The Spellbreaker wears mail, has several combat abilities and diminished healing, and has several anti-caster abilities.

Dwarf Priest:
Thane: The Thane is basically a priest in mail, with a slight hit to healing abilities but a few new combat abilities.

Runelord: The Runelord is similar to the High Priest, although not as healing heavy.

Night Elf Priest:
Priest of the Moon: The Priest of the Moon is similar to the High Priest as well, but has some extra damage and utility spells coming from arcane and nature magics.

Demon Hunter: The Demon Hunter is radically different in playstyle from the priest. The Demon Hunter is a mana-using melee damage hero class. The Demon Hunter has a mix of discipline spells and combat abilities with some shadow spells mixed in.

Undead Priest:
High Priest: see above

Shadow Priest: The name is pretty self-explanatory. The Shadow Priest does not have all the healing abilities of the High Priest, but makes several gains in the damage, utility, and crowd control departments.

Troll Priest:
Shadow Priest: see above

?:

ROGUES

Gnome Rogue:
Assassin: The Assassin is an extension of the rogue with damage, stealth, poisons, and martial arts.

Scout: The Scout has slightly less damage than the Assassin, but is tougher in combat, and has the ability to use traps among other new utilities.

Human Rogue:
Assassin: see above

Scout: see above

Dwarf Rogue:
Assassin: see above

Pitfighter: The Pitfighter is a rogue without stealth, but with improved combat and defensive abilities.

Night Elf Rogue:
Assassin: see above

Scout: see above

Orc Rogue:
Assassin: see above

Pitfighter: see above

Undead Rogue:
Assassin: see above

Scout: see above

Troll Rogue:
Assassin: see above

Scout: see above

SHAMANS

Orc Shaman:
Farseer: The Farseer has more emphasis on healing and casting than the shaman, and as a result has less combat ability. The Farseer doesn’t use totems but gains it utility from other abilities. Feral Spirit might make an appearance using a system similar to the Water Elemental.

Spirit Walker: The Spirit Walker is a more direct extension of the shaman than the Farseer, maintaining a rough balance of combat, casting, and healing ability.

Tauren Shaman:
Farseer: see above

Spirit Walker: see above

Troll Shaman:
Witch Doctor: The Witch Doctor is similar to the Farseer, but has a heavy emphasis on totems. In addition to the elemental magics the Witch Doctor also uses some shadow magic.

Spirit Walker: see above

WARLOCKS

Human Warlock:
Master Warlock: The Master Warlock is an extension of the warlock class, keeping the pet and the vast majority of the warlock mechanics.

Shadowguard: The Shadowguard has more melee emphasis than the warlock, and loses the demonic pet. The Shadowguard on his own is weaker than other melee classes, but is aided by demonic-type abilities (such as burning blood and fiery breath) to power himself up.

Gnome Warlock:
Master Warlock: see above

Shadowguard: see above

Orc Warlock:
Master Warlock: see above

Shadowguard: see above

Undead Warlock:
Master Warlock: see above

Shadowguard: see above

WARRIORS

Blizz hasn’t fleshed out warrior hero classes as much as the others, so I wasn’t able to get much on them. However, it has been confirmed that Orc warriors do have the option to become a Blademaster!

Question marks (?) denote a hero class that hasn’t been decided on by the developers yet. I don’t know the Blood Elf hero classes. I don’t know the new Alliance race (although I hear they’re going to reveal it soon). I have no idea how talent/abilities are going to work, I don’t know what will happen to armor requirements and class specific sets, etc. Everything I know I’ve posted here, and it is subject to change as it is still in fairly early development stages.

True

2006-02-15T10:20:00.000-06:00

I Submit to You: A Religion of Peace

2006-02-08T08:38:00.000-06:00

Three Cheers for Mud-Butt

2006-01-26T21:46:00.000-06:00

Lets hear it for the most perfect excuse ever concocted by man or beast; mud-butt. I wasn't late for work becuase I was hungover and sleep through the alarm, I had a wicked case of mud-butt. You didn't take a extra long lunch to interview for a better job, your doo-doo alarm was set off by that spicy food you had for lunch. We weren't cheating on our respective spouses in a portable outhouse at our childeren's soccer game, we both coincidently got the hershey squirts at the same time and were forced to share said facility.

Hip, hip, hooray; hip, hip, hooray; hip, hip, etc.

Attention Emo Loving Teens

2005-12-03T16:53:00.000-06:00

The Repulic/Empire's IT Department Sucks

2005-11-07T11:01:00.000-06:00

So my roommate bought Episode III last night and after watching it I came to a realization. The Republic/Empire's* IT department sucks. It seems that every where R2D2 goes there is an open data port for it to use with impunity. This is a clear oversight on the part of the Empire's IT department.

It is not unusual for organizations with some form of dynamic configuration implemented to leave selected data ports "hot." It is however very unusual for an organization to leave every single data port hot and the network vulnerable to attack. Even if the Empire has some sort of longtime ago in a galaxy far away version of hardware filtering implemented the fact remains that their network was penetrated no less than four times in episode III and IV alone.

In the course of thirty to forty years one droid alone is responsible for many security breaches. Because droids are seen everywhere in Star Wars; one must assume that R2D2 was not a one off droid and that its model was mass produced. Therefore it is possible that thousands if not millions of these l33t hax0r droids are running around breaching the Empire's network wherever and whenever it strikes the fancy of the droids owners'. Anyone in the Empire would have been aware of these droids and their abilities; and even the lowliest of IT workers should have been able to see the security threat they entailed.

Obviously there is a balance between security and ease of access that must be achieved on any network. In the case of the Empire, it seems, they need to tighten security somewhat. When one droid in particular is constantly penetrating your security there can be no doubt that someone has been criminally negligent. In the world of computer networks, network security is the wall around Jerusalem keeping the invading Muslim hackers at bay; in the Empire Jerusalem has no wall. The onus of network security is a very serious one in today's world and the same would be true a long time ago in a galaxy far away.

*Because I'm lazy the Rebublic/Empire will hence be referred to as the Empire.

Our Lexicon Grows Large

2005-09-30T13:01:00.000-05:00

Today I coined a new phrase, "rural myth." A rural myth is very similar to an urban myth, but a rural myth involves mules killing mountains lions or two ton catfish instead of over sexed teens being killed by psychos.

If Only All Hippies Were Like Willie Nelson

2005-07-30T14:57:00.000-05:00

If all hippies were like Willie Nelson, I wouldn't have to deep six the state of California when I become president. What I mean is that your average hippie places himself on a pedestal of self righteousness and does nothing to further the inane causes that his over active sense of guilt forces him to believe in. That brings us to Willie, who is not a traditional hippie. All Willie Nelson does is support and work for causes he believes in, Farm Aid anyone. Well Willie is at it again, this time with a great technology called bio-diesel. Willie Nelson has lent his name and likeness to Bio Willie Diesel a commercial bio-diesel product available to the public. Basically bio-diesel is vegetable oil mixed with some chemicals to break down the natural viscosity and thus rendering it useful as a fuel.

According to biowillie.com:

Bio-diesel fuel
can be used in trucks and cars with diesel engines
Bio-diesel fuel
costs less and gives better mileage!
Bio-diesel fuel
is a fully renewable energy resource
Bio-diesel fuel
is grown by American Family Farmers!
Bio-diesel fuel
is biodegradable and has low toxicity!

For this reason and for just being a general kickass guy, I present the "Best Texan Since William B. Travis" award to Willie Nelson.

This Just In!

2005-07-08T12:11:00.000-05:00

New race found living six inches under Denver, all named Mort or Mortonson.
Golf to be Olympic sport in 2012 at exspense of Baseball.
The stray cats that my neighbor feeds might meet with an unfortunate antifreeze related accident in the near future.

The Advanced Bums of Waco: A Dungeon Masters Guide

2005-06-22T11:17:00.000-05:00

Today we will investigate the advanced bums of Waco. Advanced bums only come in one flavor, drug addict. Homeless bums do not interact with "normals" enough to be further classified. I am sure that there are many other advanced bums than the ones listed here, but I am not a sociologist, so these are all you get.

White Trash Bum: White trash bum is both annoying and infuriating. This is because white trash bum possesses the +5 white trash children of pity. White trash bum will use this weapon against you and although it is a powerful weapon if you have -3 cold heart of ice you should be sufficiently armed to resist white trash bum's advances.
Crazy Eyes Bum: Crazy eyes bum is by far the most hilarious bum ever. Is he looking at you or your fern, you'll never know. While you suppress the urge to roll around on the floor convulsing with laughter; crazy eyes bum will try to encourage you towards philanthropic ends. If you can not refuse crazy eyes bum do not feel ashamed, because 100 years ago you would have had to pay for the priviledge of gazing upon crazy eyes' crazy eyes.
Salesman Bum: Salesman bum is an exceedingly annoying bum, because salesman bum tries to sell you his worthless trinkets in order to get his fix. There is one problem with salesman bum, and its that as soon as you make the mistake of buying some of his -2 trinkets of worthlessness he will turn into a regular drug addict bum and he will still be annoying.

Remember, no matter how funny, pitiful, etc. that a bum may be, never ever under any circumstances give a bum money. There will always be poor people regardless of how much money you give away; and giving money to a bum will only encourage it to annoy you for more money.

part 1

I Hate Emo

2005-06-20T02:14:00.000-05:00

That is all.

Rory Sabbatini: Saint

2005-06-14T15:10:00.000-05:00

If everyone in this world treated slow golfers the way Rory Sabbatini did, the world would be a much better place. Slow play is the only thing that makes me madder than someone who can't spell lose. There is nothing worse than playing a round of golf in over 4 hours. As much as I hate to do it, when I become president I will be forced (by all the jackasses who don't know how to play golf) to push a constitutional amendment through congress. This amendment will force all golf in the United States to be played in 4 hours 30 minutes or less. When the time period elapses you will be given the opportunity to leave the course of your own free will if you do not leave the course you will be escorted by armed marshals. Playing golf in a timely manner is fundamental in proving your loyalty to your country; hell, I can teach a retarded communist chimp to play golf in under 4 hours. In conclusion, I your humble Rear Admiral will create the 28th amendment to our beloved constitution, and the seas will run red with the blood of all who oppose me.

ESPN

Today's Lesson: Lose and Loose

2005-05-26T16:49:00.000-05:00

Lose
v. lost, (lôst, lŏst) los·ing, los·es
v. tr.

To be unsuccessful in retaining possession of; mislay: He's always losing his car keys.
1. To be deprived of (something one has had): lost her art collection in the fire; lost her job.
2. To be left alone or desolate because of the death of: lost his wife.
3. To be unable to keep alive: a doctor who has lost very few patients.
To be unable to keep control or allegiance of: lost his temper at the meeting; is losing supporters by changing his mind.
To fail to win; fail in: lost the game; lost the court case.
To fail to use or take advantage of: Don't lose a chance to improve your position.
To fail to hear, see, or understand: We lost the plane in the fog. I lost her when she started speaking about thermodynamics.
1. To let (oneself) become unable to find the way.
2. To remove (oneself), as from everyday reality into a fantasy world.
To rid oneself of: lost five pounds.
To consume aimlessly; waste: lost a week in idle occupations.
To wander from or become ignorant of: lose one's way.
1. To elude or outdistance: lost their pursuers.
2. To be outdistanced by: chased the thieves but lost them.
To become slow by (a specified amount of time). Used of a timepiece.
To cause or result in the loss of: Failure to reply to the advertisement lost her the job.
To cause to be destroyed. Usually used in the passive: Both planes were lost in the crash.
To cause to be damned.

v. intr.

To suffer loss.
To be defeated.
To operate or run slow. Used of a timepiece.

Phrasal Verb:
lose out

To fail to achieve or receive an expected gain.

Idioms:
lose it Slang

To lose control; blow up.
To become deranged or mentally disturbed.
To become less capable or proficient; decline.

lose out on

To miss (an opportunity, for example).

lose time

To operate too slowly. Used of a timepiece.
To delay advancement.

[Middle English losen, from Old English losian, to perish, from los, loss. See leu- in Indo-European Roots.]

Loose
adj. loos·er, loos·est

Not fastened, restrained, or contained: loose bricks.
Not taut, fixed, or rigid: a loose anchor line; a loose chair leg.
Free from confinement or imprisonment; unfettered: criminals loose in the neighborhood; dogs that are loose on the streets.
Not tight-fitting or tightly fitted: loose shoes.
Not bound, bundled, stapled, or gathered together: loose papers.
Not compact or dense in arrangement or structure: loose gravel.
Lacking a sense of restraint or responsibility; idle: loose talk.
Not formal; relaxed: a loose atmosphere at the club.
Lacking conventional moral restraint in sexual behavior.
Not literal or exact: a loose translation.
Characterized by a free movement of fluids in the body: a loose cough; loose bowels.

adv.

In a loose manner.

v. loosed, loos·ing, loos·es
v. tr.

To let loose; release: loosed the dogs.
To make loose; undo: loosed his belt.
To cast loose; detach: hikers loosing their packs at camp.
To let fly; discharge: loosed an arrow.
To release pressure or obligation from; absolve: loosed her from the responsibility.
To make less strict; relax: a leader's strong authority that was loosed by easy times.

v. intr.

To become loose.
To discharge a missile; fire.

Idiom:
on the loose

At large; free.
Acting in an uninhibited fashion.

[Middle English louse, los, from Old Norse lauss. See leu- in Indo-European Roots.]

Of Buddies and Their Lists'

2005-05-18T07:47:00.000-05:00

I just read a fairly asinine forum post by some jackass trying to validate his nerdy existence by boasting about the size of his buddylist. I choose to go the other way, I choose to validate my nerdy existence by treating my buddylist like the most exclusive club on the internet. Not even my parents are on my buddylist, of course they don't have screen names, but that's beside the point. My buddylist comprises about .000000383% of the earth's population, in contrast the average AOL user's buddylist contains roughly 50% of the population. If you have received the great honor of being on my buddylist then you are beyond the mere riff-raff that loiter around other peoples' buddylists. I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight; hold on I'll go and look out my window.

In Search of Sustenance

2005-05-17T14:35:00.000-05:00

I learned a new lesson today. If you ask a pet shop clerk which rabbit tastes best, they won't sell you any rabbits. Then you are stuck trying to shoot squirrels in the park with your blowgun. Like my dad always says, "squirrels are just rats with good p.r." Nobody wants to eat a rat, they're filthy animals. Not even a drug addict bum with a +2 crack habit of poverty would stoop so low as to eat a rat.

A Hitchiker's Guide to the Bums of Waco

2005-05-11T09:07:00.000-05:00

If you are ever unfortunate enough to have to spend any time in Waco you will certainly meet some bums. Some people are uncertain as to how to deal with bums and/or are afraid of dirty poor people. To this end I have published the following guide to the bums of Waco. There are two basic groups of bums in Waco.

Homeless bum: This bum is not to be feared for you will never see a homeless bum (in Waco) talking to anyone except others bums. The one exception is Sunday when naive young Baylor students give the bums doughnuts and coffee in a feeble attempt to "fix" the bums.

Drug addict bum: These will compose the bulk of the bums you will meet. Drug addict bums are far and away the most annoying people ever. They lack any form of self respect and are willing to do anything for miniscule amounts of money. This type of bum is easily detected by their ludicrous stories about broken down cars that only need $5.00 dollars to be fixed.

Expert Tip:
Never give anything to drug addict bum; getting involved with drug addict bum will only bring trouble.

There are also some more advanced bums in Waco; another guide will be published shortly.

part 2

The Cedega Conundrum

2005-05-04T05:18:00.000-05:00

It is a question as old as time itself; or at least as old as the answer to life, the universe, and everything. A moral dilemma to be sure. A question that will weigh on great minds for eons upon eons. To properly quantify a question as deep and thought provoking as this, one must possess many skills ranging in length and breadth too great to put into words. A renaissance man would not enjoy even a minute portion of the skills necessary to understand the question in question. That is why the immense burden of stating and analyzing the question has been thrust upon my Olympian shoulders, by myself.

Alas in my short, but scholastically enriched life; I have acquired only nine and a half tenths of the requisite whole necessary to adequately proclaim the question at hand. Dear reader if you would but indulge me for a spell; I would humbly carry out the task I have graciously accepted from myself. I will now loose upon your mind a question that has hitherto been uttered by men with the kind of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. The question I hold on my pursed lips is as follows.

Does Cedega help gaming on the Linux platform or hurt gaming on the Linux platform?

Destroyer of unborn empires; or custodian of hope and games?

Updates with in depth analysis forthwith

An open letter to baseball video games

2005-04-11T15:47:00.000-05:00

Dear EA Sports, 989sports, 2kSports, et al:

I love baseball video games, from basesloaded to mlb 2k5, but today's games have so many gimmicks that it is nearly impossible to just play the games. The gimmicks that make the games unplayable are almost always batting gimmicks; I'm sure that they are there to make the experience more "real", but if I was able to hit a Roger Clemens fastball I wouldn't need to buy your games because I would be playing baseball professionally. The one thing I feel your games need is a batting practice mode; not only could this make it easier to learn the batting gimmicks that are inevitable, but it could also make the game more fun. There could be different scenarios in this mythical bp mode in which you have to accomplish a certain goal, i.e. hit 10 curve balls in a row or hit the bull over the right field bleachers and win a steak. In the end a batting practice mode would allow the player/customer to learn whatever crazy gimmicks yall have added into your latest games, and therefore make the replay value higher because no one likes striking out.

Thank You

Crawdads rule!

2005-03-26T23:17:00.000-06:00

If there were a race war between crawdads and shrimp, the shrimp would totally get their butts' kicked. I once stabbed a waiter with my fork when my etouffee had a shrimp in it. Crawdads should be in the crustacean hall of fame for being the most versatile ingredient in all of crustaceandom. When I die I want to be boiled and then have my brain matter sucked out of my head and eaten just like a crawdad.

TimeWarner-Waco sucks

2005-02-28T02:26:00.000-06:00

TimeWarner-Waco sucks because they are biased towards the Rangers and rarely show the Astros. They're always screwing me over and not showing any good Houston teams and instead showing those crappy Dallas teams. They once showed an infomercial instead of a Texans game. I can't count high enough to express how many times they showed those bums in Arlington losing instead of showing the Astros winning. My only solace is that one day I will be President and I will use my executive powers to force TimeWarner to show the Astros' games on every channel and in every city, especially Dallas.

World of Warcraft Linux Petition

2005-02-17T02:43:00.000-06:00

While cruising the World of Warcraft forums, I came across this Petition for a native Linux client. I have recently been playing World of Warcraft using Cedega; and it works fairly well. A native Linux client, however, would be the cat's pajamas.

CMI9739A

2004-11-03T00:28:00.000-06:00

this is really here for my own purposes.

http://sourceforge.net/mailarchive/message.php?msg_id=9138147

mute

IEC958 Capture Monitor
IEC958 Capture Switch
IEC958 Capture Valid Switch

Biostar iDEQ 200V and Fedora Core 1

2004-04-06T18:44:00.000-05:00

I recently purchased a Biostar iDEQ 200V from newegg, and i love it. I bought it for the express purpose of having a small-form-factor linux box; and I chose fedora core 1, mainly because I have been using red hat related products since red hat 5.2 (my fisrt distro was caldera 1.3, oh how times have changed). Set up was pain free, as most distros are nowa days. I didn't try to use the onboard video card although Via does provide drivers for the km400 chipset. Instead I used my newly freed up radeon 7500 (thank you 9800 pro) as the video card. One note about drivers the sound card was detected as a Via 8233, but Biostar says that it is a C-Media 9739/A. Either way it worked just fine the way Fedora autodetected it. The network card also worked right out of the box and was autodetected as a Via Rhine-II card. The only problem I have had is getting 3d hardware acceleration to work, and since I am planning on taking this rig to Quakecon this year I'm gonna need hardware aceleration. My roomate found this helpful how-to for upgrading Fedora Core 1 to 2.6.x on Linux Electrons; I don't know if your in to that or not.

Update 4/3/05:
http://www.kingcot.eclipse.co.uk/unichrome/
http://unichrome.sourceforge.net/

mac haters

2003-10-01T21:59:00.000-05:00

I just realized something. people always talk about how blindly loyal mac fans are, but they never mention how unreasonable mac haters are. for example, while i am a mac fan, i admit that the hardware is overpriced. there is not much you can say bad about os x (although it is in no way perfect), and when i start speaking about how much better os x is than windoze all they can say is "os 9 sucked." yes it did now get up off your ass and come into 2003.

p.s. i have also noticed that said mac haters are almost always use windows and think that linux is something you put in the bed of your truck.

how in the jebus???

2003-09-10T14:16:00.000-05:00

I have a pismo powerbook with airport and Yellowdog 3.0 and i was wondering if anyone knows how to use it with an 802.1x system.

avatars

1990-11-02T22:33:00.000-06:00

genmay search

1990-01-01T19:16:00.003-06:00

http://zeos386sx.googlepages.com/genmay.html

save xml file genmay.xml then place in C:\Program Files\Mozilla Firefox 3\searchplugins


<OpenSearchDescription xmlns="http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearch/1.1/"
                       xmlns:moz="http://www.mozilla.org/2006/browser/search/">
<ShortName>gen[M]ay</ShortName>
<Description>search the [m]</Description>
<InputEncoding>UTF-8</InputEncoding>
<Image width="16" height="16">data:image/x-icon;base64,AAABAAEAEBAAAAEACABoBQAAFgAAACgAAAAQAAAAIAAAAAEACAAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACAAACAAAAAgIAAgAAAAIAAgACAgAAAwMDAAMDcwADwyqYAAAAAAAoEAAAPCQMAEgkCABgNAwAXEAkAHRIJABkVEQAgFAkAIhgPAC4dDwAmGhAAKR0TADcnGQA5JxgAOCgaAEEqFgBJMR0ARjUmAEkzIQBKOi0AUTomAFRALwBfRCwAWUc4AFdJPABeTT4AYEQtAGVJMQBvUTcAclM5AHxaPQBfT0EAZ1RDAH5hRwB5ZFEAgF4%2FAIVgQQCKaEoAkmpIAIdqUQCCbVkAnHRRAKR3UACleFEAqnxUAKp%2FWQCEcmEAk31qAKuAWgCxglkApoJjALOHYAC0iGMAuIlhAKCMeQCpkn0AuJJwAMCQZwDAkWkAxppyAKaUhACqlYMArpuLAL6kjAC0opIAza6UAMi3qQDRuqcA3L2hANzDrgDTw7cA2Me6AOHItADs1sIA5tbIAPTk1AD16N0A%2BerdAPzv5AD%2F%2BO4AOPMQAJRoSwBYhw0AVIcNAAgAAAAIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABwAAAAyJDQBE8xAATIcNAGzzEACUaEsAWIcNAFTakAAvm4AA%2F%2F%2F%2FAHDzEAB08xAAAEAAAJTzEACY8xAAfPMQAPmagAD%2F%2F%2F8AAIAOAABAAAAchhUAHIYVAMEZQAD8RVwA%2BhRAAAyGFQDsRVwAVNqQAC%2BbgAD%2F%2F%2F8AwPMQAMTzEAAAQAAA5PMQAOjzEADM8xAA%2BZqAAP%2F%2F%2FwAAQA4AAEAAAByGFQAchhUAwRlAAPxFXAD6FEAADIYVAOxFXADsRVwA%2F%2F%2F%2FAAAAAAAAQA4AAAAVAPw%2FDgAAAA4ABEAAAABADgD8hRUAAEAOAACADgD8hRUA%2FD8OAABADgAEQAAAAAAAAAghQAAAQA4AAEAAAPyFFQCE9BAACAAAAPw%2FDgAAQAAAwCFAAPw%2FDgA2KEAADEZcAIBCDgAAQAAArIcNAAAAAADshw0AsIcNAGQIAAAOKEAANihAAMxFXAA%2BKEAAsIcNAOyHDQBIhw0AAAAAAAAAAABMhw0AOAAAAA4oQAA2KEAAzEVcAD4oQABMhw0ATIcNAICHDQBIhw0AAAAAAOj0EABTK0AATIcNADk%2FQABJsvEANLLxAAT1EgAAAQAA8PQQALVRSwAE9RIAFPkSABZ4SwBsYQ0ACAAAAAABAAAAAAAAAQAAAAEBAQADAAAAAwIBAAMCAgADAwIABAMBAAYCAAAHAgAABAMCAAUEAgAHBQQACgQAAAsFAAAJBgIACQYDAAwHAwAPCQMADQkFABIJAgAUCwMAEQwHABMMBwAUDAYAFQ0HABgNAwCkoKAAgICAAAAA%2FwAA%2FwAAAP%2F%2FAP8AAAD%2FAP8A%2F%2F8AAP%2F%2F%2FwBLVaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAsMCwAAABMdGQAAAAAAAAAjSj0WAAAhRDcWEAAQEgwZLU5PHAAAJjwZHzcVMTEZRCYrVCsAACg7Cxk8GDY7HT8lK1YzCwAyQw0ZPB84Pig7JSRYOg0LQkwQGTwuNDQ2OyYiWEEOFk1QFBk8OCkoPz4nIFdIDhlRUxoZQEAlHkZFMDJXSQ4YUllCGzU2FxEwLyxVWksNE0dRQRAPDQAAAAAQOToqCwANEg0AAAAAAAAAAAALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA%3D</Image>
<Url type="text/html" method="get" template="http://www.google.com/search">
  <Param name="q" value="site:genmay.com {searchTerms}"/>
  <Param name="ie" value="utf-8"/>
  <Param name="oe" value="utf-8"/>
  <Param name="aq" value="t"/>
  <!-- Dynamic parameters -->
  <Param name="rls" value="{moz:distributionID}:{moz:locale}:{moz:official}"/>
  <MozParam name="client" condition="defaultEngine" trueValue="firefox-a" falseValue="firefox"/>
</Url>
<moz:SearchForm>http://genmay.com</moz:SearchForm>
</OpenSearchDescription>