Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Life Hack Everyone, We've got a Life Hack here.

The wall street fat-cats have your nuts in a vice?  Are you tired of choking on a handful of filberts?  There is a simple way to make your own mixed nuts at only 5x the cost.  That way is to buy the individual nuts you want and mix them yourself.  BWAAM, Life Hack.  No more picking almonds, or california commie pills as they are known in these parts, out of your nuts. You really can't put a price on getting enough pecans in your hand; other than $12 a pound, that's a price.  Most lifehackers wildly exaggerate how inexpensive their idea is; here's a life hack for you: pallets cost money.

Monday, August 05, 2013

Future Benefits of the Past Present

The NCAA has, in a move that is characterized by experts as baffling, suspended all players on top 25 football and basketball teams. The NCAA claims the ruling is a proactive reaction to improper benefits that players will receive when they go on to careers as professional athletes. Based on the theory of quantum trickle down economics the NCAA says that a player's athletic ability provides them with the potential to profit that other students do not have access to. The amateur status of student athletes now reinforced the NCAA says it is looking forward to an exciting football season full of dropped passes, fumbles, and low scoring. When asked one rules committee member was unable to correctly describe a football and said they were not really "into" sports; another member replied "green" when asked the color of a basketball.

This is not the only action the NCAA is going to make, they are also consulting with physicist in an effort to sanction programs that do the wrong thing in alternate universes.  One unnamed scientist said, "Those people (the NCAA) are crazy, crazy rich."  Another said that they are using NCAA funding to complete the scrapped super collider in Texas, "They think I am going to provide a way to keep student athletes from ever making any money in any field ever; but I'm going to provide myself with a nobel prize."  When asked for comment about this newest plan the NCAA said that "they would totally get back at those jocks even if it brings about the apocalypse."

In an unrelated note, SEC, PAC 12, Big Ten, and Big XII schools are expected to announce their withdrawal from the NCAA.   The organization already has a proposed name the Collegiate Football League,  There is some concern over confusion with the Canadian Football league.  Canadians however are historically baffled by football's, or summer hockey, lack of sticks and ice and therefore the Canadians are not expected to put up much of a fight.  Americans on the other hand do not care what it is called as long as an oblong spheroid is fought over.  The schools plan to create a new league where championships are decided by playing games rather than by sports writers have not gone unnoticed by the NCAA who were seen shaking their fists in the air and yelling, "****ing jocks!"  Wait what did that last sentence say?  Oh hell no I'm not going back to writing reviews of garden fertilizers.  Screw the fans, the NCAA knows all and is our beneficent overlord.  No you can't take my keyboard from me, I bought it with my own money.  Don't pull that

Monday, February 25, 2013

The Over Militarfacation of Civilian Police


I feel that it is a big problem that civilian police forces are becoming militarized. To me if there is a local problem that truly requires military action, they should call up a local militia or national guard. Right now we have swat teams shooting first and then letting their target die to cover their asses. With all that said above is at least one officer that I don't have worry about, give that guy a m249 and I still only have to worry about getting licked to death.

Monday, February 18, 2013

The Jedi Council were Jackasses


This has been bothering me for over a decade now. There were thousands of jedis and only two siths, but the jedis were seeking someone who would bring "balance" to the force. It should have been obvious what was going to happen when the balancer emerged. Clearly if the force ledger was going to be balanced it would not be in favor of the jedis. If anything the jedis should have been looking for the one who was going to bring balance to the force so they could throw him in the deepest darkest hole in the galaxy or shove a light saber through his face.

Jackasses

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Sunday, August 12, 2012

The Bourne Legacy

Flowers for Algernon Has apparently been remade as an action movie with a happy ending.

Friday, March 02, 2012

Crosspost: My thoughts on Windows 8

From my other blog: Microsoft has been using the same, more or less, user interface concept for the last seventeen years and for about ten of those years the vast majority of Microsoft users have used only the Windows XP version of this concept. When Vista came out in 2007 many customers complained to me that they didn't like vista because "everything" was different. When in fact everything was mostly the same with a different coat of paint.

So we went from this:

To this:

And the impression that the average user got was that "everything" was different. Now Microsoft is working on Windows 8 and a new user interface called Metro, the same interface from Windows Phone 7. Below is a screenshot of Windows 8 from the customer preview released this week.

I would like to know what Microsoft think is going to happen when they unleash their newest operating system on an unsuspecting public. Microsoft has been trying to ween their users off of XP since 2007 and now they really are making a significant change to the user interface. So now they apparently think this going to convince the people who were freaked out by Vista and 7 to stop using XP? My personal opinion is that Metro is a neat idea which works good on touchscreens, but Metro does not work so great with a mouse and keyboard. Maybe Microsoft is trying to work the New Coke marketing strategy.

http://fixtit.blogspot.com/2012/03/microsoft-have-lost-they-minds.html

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Jim Crane may rename Astros

I'm not sure how, but I will find a way to blame this on Bud Adams!

Friday, September 02, 2011

Blue Duck

Its blue. Its a duck. It must be art.

Sunday, August 28, 2011